January 2011
48 posts
Morning would
Him: I’ve got some would for you.
Me: Would? Don’t you mean wood?
Him: No, would. As in, it would like to be tasted.
December 2010
51 posts
davio1962 asked: re: Generous with my internet friends--"so, where would you like me to park this, ma'am?"
davio1962 asked: re: Generous with my internet friends--"so, where would you like me to park this, ma'am?"
Hey guys - remember that one time?
That was good, huh?
1 tag
Thanks, Ron.
<3
1 tag
1 tag
RIP Beave
We loved you well but our time together was too short.
steelopus asked: WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU SINCE 3AM! ARE YOU OK?!?! HAVE YOU SURVIVED THROUGH THE NIGHT OF CHRISTMAS TERROR?
steelopus asked: WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU SINCE 3AM! ARE YOU OK?!?! HAVE YOU SURVIVED THROUGH THE NIGHT OF CHRISTMAS TERROR?
POWER'S STILL FLICKERING AND THE TEMPERATURE IN...
THE POWER HAS BEEN OUT FOR 3 HOURS, INTERMITTENT...
1 tag
Poor doggy...
We somehow keep getting whipped cream cans with defective nozzles. I mean, for years! Every single time, they spritz some cream straight onto the floor, where poor Sydney has to clean it up.
If only there was some way to make it up to her.
Heh, I said rectify.
It is 6:53 pm EST, and I have not yet had any pie...
Must rectify immediately.
2 tags
STUPID FUCKING SMIRKING PIGS!!!!!!!
1 tag
My sister just texted me that "we" bought my dad a...
Yeah, sis, check’s in the mail.
1 tag
You guys, don't ever go hang out with...
hurtling:
She’ll give you awesome gifts, and tell you jokes about short ribs and buttsex, and get you drunk on delicious beers, and make you a comfy bed, and provide you with your own toothbrush, and make sure you get up for work on time.
Trust me. It’s a trap.
It was a really fun evening, and Rommie is an extremely low-maintenance house guest.
I am, however, a bit perplexed about the stain...
1 tag
I love that the UPS guy always puts packages under...
Nobody would *ever* think to look there! I mean, the box-shaped lump in the rug is not at all noticeable.
We’re expecting several packages tomorrow. Should be interesting.
1 tag
I'm going to bed early. Rommie's coming over...
Not really - I just need time to hide all the booze.
Headed out to do some shopping on the Sunday...
BRING IT, motherfuckers!
1 tag
Anybody need hand cream?
I had a, uh, a bit of an… um… incident with the bottle.
3 tags
Things I've already learned this morning, Parts...
1. The kitchen smoke alarm works much better than the exhaust fan on the range hood.
2. Said smoke alarm functions unsurprisingly well as a “come and get it” call to breakfast
1 tag
adomania
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the crushing sense that the future is arriving ahead of schedule, that all those years with fanciful names like “2011” are bursting from their hypothetical cages into the arena of the present, furiously bucking the grip of your expectations while you lean and slip in your saddle, one hand reaching for reins, the other waving up high like a schoolkid who finally...
1 tag
MO-OM! Sweetie won't give me back my iPad!
1 tag
Tangible - I have lots of crows feet and crinkles. While some may think that they make me look old (and they’re almost certainly right about that), I know that they are testament to a life spent laughing and smiling, so I appreciate them.
Intangible - I am easily entertained, so I laugh freely and often. My mother always said it takes very little to amuse a small mind, but she was dead...
1 tag
Dang! That batch of shortbreads came out a wee bit...
Make another batch? Sure!
(You *are* twisting my arm, right?)
1 tag
Baked...
So I baked a shitload of cookies - and Nutella brownie cupcakes! - today, and I was thinking about doing some biscotti, but the recipe called for orange zest & fresh oj and I don’t have any oranges in the fruit bowl. I debated just leaving it out as it’s not the primary flavor, but decided it really would complement the other flavors, so I’d just pick up some tomorrow and...
Dreidel dreidel dreidel YO
I work for a commercial property management company. We manage 15 office buildings spread over 75 acres, including a wetlands in the middle complete with two gators and numerous raccoons. The gators and raccoons are extraneous to my story, but it’s cool that they’re there nonetheless.
This week, we’ve been hosting holiday parties at all the buildings as a treat to our tenants....
OH, MS. MACHIIIIIINE... →
I've been gone for a couple of days... Hey, did...
Too bad I’m camera-impaired; I never remember to take one with me. What did we ever do before cell phone cameras?
